I'm sitting here tonight desperately wishing I could write something. Have you ever been there? The Muse has left the building, and you have no idea how to find her? It's moments like this when I deeply miss college. In the 8.5 years since I graduated, I have really missed being in an educational environment. Something about being surrounded by learning and teachers brought out the creative side of me. I rediscovered it a couple of years ago when I went through the MC program at my home church. I was finally once again able to write poetry.
I don't know what causes the block, but it is very evidently there. Of course, when I first started writing, I typically only got poems when my emotions were high. And I use the phrase "got poems" because that's truly the only way I can describe it. If I try to think of something, my mind goes blank. Then, suddenly, I'll get a phrase, and the rest all comes in a rush. I shocked my roommate Sarah one night by flying out of bed and demanding some paper. She stood there sort of bemused while I scribbled for about 2 minutes; then, I handed her the notebook and saying, "I was afraid I'd forget it," I went back to bed. She was amazed that the poem (Masquerade) was complete and didn't require any editing. All I could say was that is how they always come to me: whole, finished.
But, returning to my lack of inspiration...
Does this ever happen to any of you? You have an ability or gift that sometimes seems to go on vacation? It's very frustrating to know that you have something inside of you that you don't know how to access.
Here's one of my poems from my college days:
Clouds, lightly roasted,
Eager for little hands--
Two-eyed sheets, howling for candy--
Blanketing the yard--
Frosty, leering lanterns,
Grinning out at straw men--
Families, meeting, eating--
"We thank Thee for this bounty,"
Ringing over turkeys.
--K. Yerton9 October 2002